Love
Volume Thirteen
CONTENTS
Her Image I May Not See, (Yet Her Image as a Vision I Will)
I Missed That Part Somehow (Angel of Guiding Light)
The Seizure of Me (Outside Your Window)
Love Steers The Heart (Greatest Explorer)
From The Vessel of Light I Crawled (I Leapt)
So Simple Is My Love
My love will always return to you as I am your moon,
From dirt I am made with particles to depart soon,
My heart is made of cells filled with love from you,
The basis of my love is in each cell filled through,
So simple is love when true of soul and man’s heart,
In my life I am nurtured by your love in my every part,
I reach deep within to express the beauty of loving you,
It is found in your heart most of all if I’m to tell you true,
Words of gratitude fall so short I doubt they are heard,
One day after years of research I hope to find the word,
Mixed with gold and blood until rich in color and value,
Is how I envision my words printed on tablets to you,
I would need to have more, much more mixed in,
Without red rose petals I would not allow it to begin,
The little dark flecks are particles of plum roses too,
I would find all the little things I so love about you,
An audible giggle deep within that’s only heard by me,
Perhaps I’ll find a silica to engrave upon to hear and see,
There are so many wonderful things of you I want all to know,
I am so desperately sorry for the burdens of me in tow,
So beautiful you stand as though from ancient goddess form,
It’s true I must admit that I worship you far beyond the norm,
As the ringing in my ears fades and my vision leaves me too,
Your touch will bring my mind to see why I’m so in love with you.
The end, by Pat for Patti
Her Image I May Not See, (Yet Her Image as a Vision I Will)
Her image of vision may no longer be yet her image as a vision will be,
A line that came to me is now understood for its when I no longer see,
Written long ago as many are to remain unknown until known tragedy,
To see her beauty is my greatest joy, soon blindness will take it from me,
A gift given me long ago is the ability to see future events and more,
Little boys of seven should not tell of their grandfather’s death before,
This ability comes at times to remain unknown, a prediction I must store,
Please read this rhyme of my love of Patti, past love of her and so much more,
Let stand my heart alone rather than place thee in deigning stance,
Beneath the drop of moonlight glow paradise garden is of dance,
Dare say I to such beauty, “oh wondrous angel would you by chance?”
Did such sweet answer flow from your lips for me by hap-stance,
From a thought held tight within my heart it is time I reveal,
Courage is mine as I have used my fortitude in war’s ordeal,
Yet I tremble inside as if I have been exposed to be unreal,
Upon my knees for thee I whisper with intent my love is real,
Yes, the truth of my heart has been exposed to you in view,
I hunger deeply for thee and for thy kiss I thirst deeply too,
From thine eyes of angel’s colors I find comfort I never knew,
The field of view of thine eyes has me so entranced of you,
Long ago when young of heart I wondered has another known,
Has trespass taken place within this field of heart I feel I own,
Was injury of your naive heart done as war’s hell I was shown,
Did awakening take place of you to find love for me had grown,
As Romeo held Juliette my heart held you dear through ordeal,
For so very long before events or war I tried to prove my love as real,
Drain my heart of lifeblood if dying of thirst, drink of me as you will,
For thee I’ll sacrifice life if but for a second of love of me you feel,
Let stand a tombstone in love’s tribute to honor undying love I feel,
Quarry of marbled stone so words will stand time’s wrath to reveal,
Pat Hath Love For Patti unknown until this headstone was found real,
So many frailties knew this man yet strength of heart seemed surreal,
A heart once broken by neglect healed by you when realized I’m true,
Though my return home found no home without it I wouldn’t see you,
Frailties given me by draft did not affect my ability to love you through,
Not once has doubt of love entertained my mind I must tell you this true,
We are the king and beautiful queen of the Texas Panhandle Lore,
Those of curious nature ask how I survive so much, non ask what for,
What for is seen in you, what for is for you, more now than ever before,
Once love of me was revealed for you I would endure so much more,
The first heartbeat after Cupid’s reveal of you felt of life I never knew,
Your image entered every cell of my being along with love for you,
First sight love is real yet I felt I had fought for my ladies hand in oh two,
Fifteen oh two I should say yet memories of lifetimes past came in view,
We are more than two falling in love, a reunion of hearts past took place,
As God bears witness I swear each life you have had the same lovely face,
To awaken a sleeping soul the jolt must be felt of heart to give chase,
May I stand in fires searing pain if I speak untruth from my aging face,
Beneath the skies of Texas the masquerade of hearts ceased to be,
From tender lips of red came a kiss that jolted time’s memories free,
Memories passed from lifetimes carried within the soul we can’t see,
Though I may lose you to sands of time I will find you again in eternity,
My left hand may bear a cane to stand while the other cane is of white,
An image of you is within my heart, know this my angel of morning light,
Centuries have embossed your image into my mind to be held every night,
You’ve watched me die by swordsmanship hand and held me oh so tight,
Each time I vowed my love until eternities passing, I vowed love for you,
True of heart I remember my bride’s delight of birds singing in full view,
In a small house made of gathered stacked stone and thatched roof too,
Built for you with my hands before the Crusades took me far from you,
Years passed before a triumphant return to a son I never knew,
But most of all a one armed knight returned as he had promised to,
More memories I have such as the North Carolina Ice House in twenty two,
Though hard to believe I have centuries of experience loving you.
For thine heart I am true. The end.
My Lifetime of Gold
It was a silent night that I felt wholly to be in love with you,
All was calm and the moon brightened the night sky to blue,
A sensation felt this deeply must be of Heaven if felt true,
Paradise is but your essence as to breathe in fills me through,
I have prayed prayers in desperation to feel your kiss at last,
Yes, I have prayed desperately as I feared time moved too fast,
A desperate prayer brought by feeling time’s line had been cast,
I must absorb this moment as I hold your tender hand at last,
You are the air my lungs desire if air from yonder garden come,
If your exhale has placed your essence of particle delight some,
Breathe deep I will and treasure it until my lungs no longer hold,
For you, you sweet young angel are to be my lifetime of gold.
I Missed That Part Somehow (Angel of Guiding Light)
The morning sun shines upon you as if a ceremony of life,
Each morning when I see you I give thanks you are my wife,
Twilight brings pause as I reflect on my day with you,
With each day’s passage I realize I’m closer to my due,
As my time withers to become past tense it is so very true,
I would have no existence or reality without love from you,
To love someone brings another dimension when new found,
Yet half a century of loving you brings daily sensations abound,
Absence of light blanketed by a twinkling sky is our favorite night,
Together we have basked in diamonds of the sky until first light,
As morning chases darkness at horizons edge new light is found,
The beauty of morning angels is highlighted by new light around,
A silhouette of angel is formed with the morning sky background,
I trace each line in my mind as my fingers once did in war’s surround,
There is no change but then angels of morning light are born of this,
Exhaustion has captured my frame but I have need of one more kiss,
As if every ounce of energy I’ve known is within your lips I awaken,
Into the depth of love I leap by a gaze into your eyes yet I am shaken,
Teardrops trace my leathered face as I realize this will soon be taken,
Desperately my mind tries to capture a memory as my heart is broken,
I feel a sob beneath your chest as you’ve read my thought in bond,
Realize my angel that a night with you unseen is still a gift beyond,
Beyond that of a teen fantasizing of love from my angel of dreams,
I will still see the perimeters of morning light and feel sunbeams,
The unseeing may feel moonlight beams unknown to those that see,
I close my eyes to absorb your essence each night as you come to me,
God’s hand can heal my eyes as he touched my heart and hands too,
I pray His touch to land upon my meager eyes that I may still see you,
For you are my hidden treasure that I have survived to behold,
You are my wonder of the heavens or said true my only gold,
Said before I am but rust tied to you by rust found in your eyes,
As daylight fades to darkness so shall it be what my vision denies,
But yet I will treasure those moments for in your hold I am much more,
In darkness we bond, perhaps passion we find at night will arrive as before,
My memory of treasures are mostly of emotion, kisses, and deep desire,
From within my heart came courage to face the enemies wrath so dire,
From the gold in my hold I will seek support to blaze another trail,
As rust fails beyond its last stand I pray gold to support me if I fail,
But know from the courage once known to be mine more is found,
I am the man so desirous of you, what remains wants to be around,
I am forgiven for war’s burdens that tainted my soul for too long,
Forgiving my tormentors last year was so hard for such a wrong,
I am free of heart and clean of spirit at last then this comes along,
With the Angel of Morning Light you will find rust to be very strong,
Though you may lead I am your protector and vow my last breath yours,
My courage can be found to stand at sinister’s door for your love procures,
With your little hand in mine the Angel of Morning Light transforms to be,
To be the Angel of Guiding Light, my guiding light so I may continue to see,
I fear no evil nor shall peril bring cowardliness as courage is in my hand,
Our home is my heaven, your essence is my nourishment to stand,
Place tender a kiss upon my lips and forward I shall go into the murk,
Into the darkness of daylight I shall wander fearing not what may lurk,
An artist’s attempt to depict your beauty fell short once not long ago,
He said to me it’s impossible for a painting to depict an angel’s glow,
The Angel of Light has been here all along and I celebrate it now,
Although I love everything you and of you, I missed that part somehow.
The end, for Patti by Pat
Thank you baby, I love you so very much and I thank you.
From The Deep End of Darkness
My mind falls off my train of thought to what I’ve been through,
Each moment since seventeen has been produced of you,
A thought of happiness followed by teardrops of salty rain,
Are parts of the biology process happening inside my brain,
Seldom do I write solely of me without you deep inside of me,
As a teen on a date, guilt filled my mind before a kiss could be,
An image of you appeared in my mind telling me to be chaste,
Testosterone and desire would push my curiosity with haste,
Each date was a cycle of this until every girl was expelled soon,
Long flowing hair with beautiful eyes but a hair could be doom,
The slightest imperfection grew so that a hair appeared a beard,
I truly believe it was destiny guiding a vessel that was not steered,
From the deep end of darkness to the glories of sunshine I walked,
And soon it was with the beautiful girl of my dreams I would talk,
My words so true of heart would fall upon doubting ears too long,
In darkness she did not believe but in darkness it seemed a song,
Soon our kisses under moonlight beams brought uniting of emotions,
Emotions, dreams and moonlight brought destiny into fluid motion,
Emotions bring fluid motions when united in heart, soul, and mind,
From the deep end of darkness we came to light no longer blind,
With you near I knew my way and never doubted our love would grow,
A kiss of ignition means but one thing and it’s of your love I know,
Together into eternity and together for thirty years more we will stand,
I love you beautiful angel, come walk with me and hold my hand.
The Seizure of Me (Outside Your Window)
My mind wants to go along but my body can’t manage the task,
Each part struggling to keep up as my brain continues to ask,
It’s a cross to bear unearthed by times advance upon my frame,
It took too long to realize that life wasn’t a continual game,
I feel an aura of light surrounding my mind as I’m taken into night,
It’s a tunnel of darkness surrounded by lightening and flashing light,
Pain so extreme most can’t stand departs my body ceasing to be,
I look to you longingly without movement hoping you’ll save me,
Soon they’ll call me out, these Angels of the night to collect,
As I approach the tunnel of light I will no doubt have regret,
I look into the darkness and find the memories that seem alive,
From a tunnel of love I focus on nineteen hundred sixty five,
Outside a window I perch in wait as I pray you’ll love me someday,
Take this as you wish, I was obsessed in a cloud trying to find a way,
When first I saw you I hid in the darkness trying to find a view,
A whole night through before leaving I sat there in thought of you,
Memories are flowing through my mind as if flash cards to test,
To test my heart as each memory contains images rated the best,
Stretching my reach to retrieve a particle of you or just a fallen hair,
Vaults me forward in time planning to build a lake home not there,
You are there encouraging me ignorant to the worst me I’ve known,
Forever at my side making me better than the man you were shown,
You were there, flowing hair, working far away and driving every day,
My brain still riddled with virus of mosquito bite left me in dismay,
Reminders break through of Oklahoma stress with your family clan,
I stop painful images in flow in this mystery journey of me the man,
In a surprise to me I have passed a test of time by only wanting good,
Precious bricks of gold contain flaws as does the most precious wood,
I yell to the purveyors of this journey I’m on please let it rain down,
Rain down precious memories of her, flood me into her surround,
Submissive I’ll be if I must review bad to see more good of her,
Sad memories of her are precious in that I was within her coffer,
Any place at all is what my heart says in response to the flood,
Sunshine shines in mention of your name to dry tear’s made mud,
Have you heard, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,
She is my intervention, every good intention, my prevention for sure,
Sitting in the snow in a place so very long ago I join me in misery,
A week before Christmas hidden in white of night solving a mystery,
And it shall remain unknown as my lips are sealed for being there,
Sent there on a mission of hide n seek for my uncle with white hair,
Beautiful lights twinkle to light a township older than our country is,
I’m holding a photograph of you to my chest wondering if love still lives,
I don’t want to let go, I hold it tight you know, oh how I love you so,
Wake up you say to me, “wake up Pat” shouting “it’s me don’t you know”
The mystery journey ceases to be and will be a victim of amnesia soon,
I awaken to no knowledge of anything without a memory in a room,
“You’ve had a seizure baby” a stranger says, “your name is Pat”
A stranger helping me with my name and where she says I’m at,
Is truth coming from the mouth of this angel I see speaking to me,
Pain is unknown to me as I remember me feeling as good as I can be,
As the brain resets doctors say, pain hasn’t made the trip to the brain,
With thunder and a war of atomic magnitude pain comes down like rain,
Remembering not remembering is a mystery to amnesia experts everywhere,
Pain is the catalyst that awakens my struggling brain to what it must bear,
My breath seems to depart my lungs as my liver’s pain delivers a blow,
My kidney stones pale compared to my liver, the greatest pain I know,
Once again, I’m outside your window, waiting for you to come back to me,
As memories of time and distance become linear I can finally see,
Heavy pain rains down on me but gratefully I awaken held by you,
No one really knows, but I feel you know what I’m going through.
The end, by Pat. Thank you baby for being there always.
Catalyst
Is all I have left but an empty dream to be led into darkness,
Or perhaps an opaque world with perimeters of what I miss,
If I lay here an hour or two will I awaken to the loss of you,
All I am is what I see in you and the world within your view,
As time sheds waste of past is there something unlearned,
Is something hidden in wrath’s message that I haven’t learned,
To learn compassion I was submerged in pain that I may know,
We grow each time compassion and empathy is allowed show,
Submerged in pain for thirty years was it a struggle of worth,
A world opaque or blind is my future to remain upon this earth,
As I come from the submerged I have another lesson to learn,
Optimism has been washed away in another life lesson burn,
Is this a crossroad of reflection or simply a choice in movement,
Have I have failed so extreme that this is a message Karma sent,
My failings if seen by me are so extreme that mountains pale,
Is enormity a common thread of thought when men do fail,
Absent a fountain of needed nourishment rich of you I would die,
As my brain swelled from virus it found release through my eye,
Was this the timer that sat in wait for the moment it was to be used,
Had I done better is it something my guardians could have refused,
There is a hand that guides my struggles yet too often I ignore,
I tried to endure yet I’m filled with shame for weakness to implore,
In my weakest moment I cried “mama” but worst I said “your” name,
Similar to mine I’m blessed they didn’t realize my deepest shame,
Our enemy would have used you or worst abused you to their gain,
For that I have deserved most anything to fall upon my worn frame,
An abyss filled with my darkest failings would remain forever dark,
I’ve earned my plight perhaps but without you, life would be stark,
For over six years I’ve had at least twenty five surgeries to endure,
As I forced health and strength’s return I felt I had become sure,
Words within my rhymes tell of my pleasure to be entranced in you,
As I locked into your beautiful eyes all the gifts of life came through,
Don’t cry now, stop for a moment and realize I will hold you instead,
Visions of you will still be there, alive and young, flowing in my head,
To be held will feel the same and perhaps the outer edges I’ll see,
I’m so sorry that it seems each deep gaze brings reality home to me,
It’s impossible now to have that long loving gaze without complexity,
With each gaze I judge without fail how much harder it is to see,
Let’s just lay here and hold each other, it’s where we both belong,
Softly place a kiss upon my eyelids and I’ll feel nothing is wrong.
Then end, by Pat. I love you baby
I Climbed a Wall
I climbed a wall so tall that was built of deceit for many years,
Too many agents of distrust conspired to fuel my many fears,
As I searched for a friendly face I found they designed the wall,
Oh my Lord what have I done in blindness to bring my own fall,
I went to sleep but a year ago to find an old man returning my stare,
So startled I was to find this image of me with white silver hair,
Come and see me if you must but a label or warning must be said,
You’ll think I’m insane when I tell you of the life I remember in my head,
I have dreamed of angels, war, deceit, children, grandchildren and more,
So many things happened to me it’s unbelievable, especially the war,
Let me show you the photograph that is my only piece of gold,
So many nights I slept with my treasured photo tightly in my hold,
My tale of life will tell a tale of love with never a bad word spoken of her,
Do Angels have failings you wonder? I have no ill words of her to offer,
A bullet once pierced my heart because of her yet without her I die,
I endured a world so lonely during war that yes, I’d break down and cry,
Without a penny to my name and so weary of war I endured protester’s rant,
Dressed in uniform a church member answered my request for a ride with I can’t,
Was it an angel of mercy that took a weary damaged soldier home that night,
I believe it to be true as I walked and prayed to God I held her picture tight,
My life is poetry in verse and placed upon a website for all to read,
It is written for her, I want all the world to know she fulfilled every need,
I’ve had too many miracles to write of but I will attempt to do so soon,
Each and everyone is interlaced in her, her prayers avoided doom,
Another burden had come to bear and with her I will endure,
Too many times I’ve been told of death with no possible cure,
Yet darkness seems to scare me more so I pray she will lead the way,
And someday in darkness she will guide me on my parting day.
Love Steers The Heart (Greatest Explorer)
Love steers the heart through uncharted waters not explored before,
Across waves of turmoil to be thrown about before coming ashore,
Within each soul is a desire to seek or to be sought by he who seeks,
To find or to be found ignites exuberant transitions that never peaks,
Love is as vast as the darkness of space lit by bursts of loves ignition,
Appearing as stars so unique it has identity that deserves recognition,
Some so enormous that sectors of space are brightly lit for eternity,
Wondrous beauty is found within creation that astronomers often see,
When wondrous beauty is found those in awe desire to remain,
As they gasp in awe they feel too small in mind, stature, and frame,
I saw the beauty of God’s creation and awkwardly asked her name,
At that moment a feeling of need filled my heart to forever remain,
The vastness of space if love could envelop a heart for evermore,
Lovers of all ages are soon absorbed into the vastness to explore,
Exploring emotions, along with feelings of touch, kisses and more,
Like explorers of space they want to know more than ever before,
And I feel as if I am the greatest explorer of the enormity of love,
From a kiss long ago I soared into the vastness of the heavens above,
And today I soar as never before with no desire to rest or curb the flow,
She gives me reason to soar and to learn everything of her before I go,
On the wings of love I fly fueled by the wondrous beauty so unique,
As I pull her near to explore and find the unknown I still grow week,
Kisses of her lips ignite my soul more today than they did yesterday,
I am the greatest explorer man has known, she makes me feel that way.
You Are So Pretty
“You are so pretty,” it was said far too often by me,
Like a child with his wanted gift for everyone to see,
Forgive him for saying far too often you’re so pretty,
I wonder how many wives endure such a tragedy,
Imagine the teen so overwhelmed with a girl,
Emotions never known, overtake him in a whirl,
So beautiful was her flowing hair without curl,
Aspiring to give her treasures of gold and pearl,
To calm her displeasure he bit his lip into silence,
With caution of word he would fear to say so hence,
Yet every day he said “you are beautiful” without pretense,
Words escaped his mouth and leapt his censor fence,
Imagine the little girl without anything but dreams,
Without dreams things may be worse than it seems,
A dream is hope for something better downstream,
When she accomplishes that dream, see her beam,
To think his own mouth he would have to restrain,
It wasn’t his mouth but such beauty was to blame,
Words would escape as if impossible to contain,
Beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, so many words pertain,
Imagine the man alone because of words unspoken,
If only the courage came would he be so broken,
Wishing he had said those words instead of chokin’,
His life wasted away like a discarded wood token,
He saw her in dreams long ago most every night,
When at war, as he slept, he held her photo tight,
After enduring so much, return acclimation was a fight,
He asked why fight for anti-America protester’s right,
Imagine the man still overwhelmed with the girl,
Emotions discovered still overwhelm him in a whirl,
So beautiful is her long flowing hair without curl,
He aspires to give her treasures of gold and pearl,
Long hours alone magnified how he had felt while home,
The anxiety of danger and near death while being alone,
Praying that she wouldn’t forget him and start to roam,
It pulls heavily on tormented hearts that feel so alone,
Imagine two teens whose eyes lock more than a glance,
Was fate at work or did they truly meet there by chance,
Courage came to announce his love one night at a dance,
And she wanting his words but departed before his chance,
Once lips and hearts unite even if brief true love is known,
With no doubt in his heart he departs before love is shown,
Regret for not saying so was another burden of war sewn,
Letters written with no response don’t quell love that has grown,
Imagine the soldier so grateful to survive,
Discharged as damaged and lucky to be alive,
Grateful it happened in hope the romance will revive,
A two minute visit is enough to keep the flame alive,
Working hard after his discharge and buying a car,
By design he returns instead of wishing upon a star,
She changed an un-responsible man to do the best he can,
The war killed his innocence and returned a damaged man,
Imagine the grown girl without anything but dreams,
Without dreams things may be worse than it seems,
A dream is hope for something better downstream,
When she accomplishes that dream, she will beam,
Imagine the beautiful girl with a fulfilled improbable dream,
With that dream becoming a reality she is now agleam,
A secret dream in hopes of something better downstream,
Departing the church arm in arm it’s no longer a dream,
So high above reality with the past year alive in his head,
Thinking he wouldn’t survive yet he came home alive instead,
He felt her hand in his instead of a photo as bullets flew overhead,
Her beauty overwhelmed him as he held her in their lovers bed,
Imagine the soldier that survived loneliness, torture, and more,
Coming home to the girl that loved him as much as before,
Imagine him married to her with stored emotions of war,
His heart aflame with love for her, so many feelings in store,
“You are beautiful,” he says, far too often than a normal man would,
Would anyone understand his feelings if in his shoes they stood,
You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen in my life,
There is none second to you, I am blessed to have you as my wife,
Imagine his dismay after a few months had gone by,
“You say I’m beautiful far too much, can I ask you why?”
It’s because I’m in disbelief after all I’ve been through,
His mind speaks loud with no word said, “I love you,”
Realizing her feelings and how imbalanced his words were he replied,
You are wonderful through and through no doubt, it cannot be denied,
Adding, “I love each moment with you even hearing your giggle inside,”
Hopefully tonight, forty-five years later, my love for you cannot be denied.
From The Vessel of Light I Crawled (I Leapt)
I wake each morning in search of where you are,
My dreams it seems has taken me to a far away star,
Or is reality my existence in a world beyond bazaar,
Dream states are non-real or perhaps they really are,
My eyes are deceiving me,” I think, in this world I’m in,
For there at my side is you, if so, let my life here begin,
Don’t wake me, I scream out to anyone that is within,
Then with startling clarity I realize I’m the one I’m in,
To begin could be a leap forward or it can be a slow toe,
Inched forward with caution as if, it’s afraid to move slow,
If I wake from a dream state to find you then I will know,
The world I seek is closer to real as long as in it, you show,
But to awaken without you near brings dreamt fear,
Dreamt fear can be so real that it brings death near,
However if you are anywhere near I hope I see you clear,
And if you whisper bring close your lips that I may hear,
To explain my life dream is to explain me as I am today,
A dream to me is not a dream if you are here to stay,
No matter if a dream or reality you’ll remain if my way,
My existence, my life, if labored is worth the dues I pay,
Decay of life is now within my frame to forever remain,
For you, I will endure anything if but another moment I gain,
A bolt of lightening was the flash of light used to ingrain,
Your image so beautiful is more than a memory in my brain,
Perhaps you left dreams to become the girl of my dreams,
Since I was but a small boy you’ve forever been there it seems,
Once in a dream I met you, then upon a vessel of light beams,
Then to crawl through the opening of reality to exit my dreams,
From the vessel of light I crawled through what wasn’t a door,
It could not be more right as there I stood on the second floor,
Though we couldn’t unite at that time we belonged forevermore,
I embraced love and lept into love with you, the one I so adore.
The end, by Pat for Patti, my sweet angel, my wife.