{"id":982,"date":"2016-04-04T00:32:14","date_gmt":"2016-04-04T05:32:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/?p=982"},"modified":"2016-04-04T00:32:14","modified_gmt":"2016-04-04T05:32:14","slug":"the-path-of-bewilderments-way","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/2016\/04\/04\/the-path-of-bewilderments-way\/","title":{"rendered":"The Path of Bewilderment’s Way"},"content":{"rendered":"

As we meander the path through bewilderment’s way,<\/span><\/p>\n

We pass many things we’ve learned to ignore each day,<\/span><\/p>\n

I’ve looked into the eyes of a fellow draftee yet I ignore,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I fear the tugs upon memories I have thrown to the floor,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Another child, another day, I’ve dug deep to look inside,<\/span><\/p>\n

I look into the downtrodden’s eyes and see they’ve cried,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

My good intentions have fallen to the floor of incompletion,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Do you feel, have you felt the same pain without exception,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Present the glories of the world’s darkness carried inside,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Too many soldiers gone, too many Vietnam Vets have died,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They traveled the streets never welcomed home from war,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I deeply wished, as did they, that it could be as it was before,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Fireworks crash, thunder claps, backfires all bring it back,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Terror returns for one moment, just as when under attack,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I feel it, I feel the pain, the fear, the anxiety of wondering,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Will I go home complete or absent limbs, I hate remembering,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

How I fear “the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air,”<\/span><\/p>\n

Lyrics of war so misunderstood by many as fireworks glare,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When memories hidden are awakened to be they return in full,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Many men of that war never felt the glory of patriotism’s pull,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

To march the march of protestors revolt to a march of training,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Was a startling transition of wartime that needs no explaining,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Yet I felt that tug to defend as my father however he enlisted,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Love held me back as well as schooling so I was deferment listed,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

How little we realize the depth of the damage done by one death,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For a seventeen year old to watch another teenagers last breath,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Is an assault upon innocence that removes any child left inside,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The guilt of a late trigger response lays so heavy I’ve often cried,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It’s locked deep inside shame’s vault of secrets yet disclosed in full,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

How many died as a result of a hesitant machine gun trigger pull,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The first day, a first encounter, do I pull the trigger or am I a fool,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

My answer came in a fury of gunfire that left behind a red pool,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Nineteen sailors injured that day as well numerous Marines dead,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I, as do others, have too many things floating around in my head,<\/span><\/p>\n

These are not pleasant memories I speak of but moments of dread,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So many have it much worse than me and would prefer mine instead,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As I exit to enter upon the path of fading years I take a pause,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

With her is heavenly existence, without I have no reason or cause,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Had I hesitated years ago, hesitation may have brought catastrophe,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Catastrophe involving Patti would spell the absolute end of me,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Imagine my existence had I hesitated in canceling a date with another,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Or had I hesitated when I crawled threw a window to an angel wonder,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She was truly an angel, the imprint is heavy upon my mind for eternity,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I see the silhouette of an teenage angel embedded inside me mentally,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Almost daily I relive that moment of hesitant trigger finger pull,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Was I hesitant or was it the normal jitters of a first day warring fool?<\/span><\/p>\n

As it enters my mind I sincerely attempt to put my focus upon her,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For she is the opposite extreme of the agony endured I need to defer,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I take a deep breath as I did that horrible day and I meditate on loving her,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Loving her is the easiest thing I have done, for her I surrender my life in offer,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sweet surrender, the sensational surrender of my heart and all I am in life,<\/span><\/p>\n

Again she has saved me, again I am saved by my beautiful, heavenly wife.<\/span><\/p>\n

The end, by Pat<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As we meander the path through bewilderment’s way, We pass many things we’ve learned to ignore each day, I’ve looked into the eyes of a fellow draftee yet I ignore,\u00a0 I fear the tugs upon memories I have thrown to the floor,\u00a0   Another child, another day, I’ve dug deep to look inside, I look […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-982","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-uncategorized","czr-hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/982","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=982"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/982\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":983,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/982\/revisions\/983"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=982"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=982"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=982"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}