{"id":936,"date":"2015-11-18T00:03:46","date_gmt":"2015-11-18T06:03:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/?p=936"},"modified":"2016-03-07T00:08:42","modified_gmt":"2016-03-07T06:08:42","slug":"my-chain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/2015\/11\/18\/my-chain\/","title":{"rendered":"My Chain"},"content":{"rendered":"

I love the magic of setting suns, morning sunrise and you,<\/span><\/p>\n

My heart cries out more often than our Texas morning dew,<\/span><\/p>\n

Surprise isn’t a good word when time is involved somehow,<\/span><\/p>\n

The age in my eyes made me cry when I saw how I look now,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Show me ‘when’ I beg of you, show me when it’s time to hide,<\/span><\/p>\n

I fear I’ll become “the old man down the road” who suddenly died,<\/span><\/p>\n

Desert sands never filled my boots so I’m not worth a thank you,<\/span><\/p>\n

Let me tell you a story of truth, confusion, and what war can do,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I have a chain of love that runs from first glance to last dance,<\/span><\/p>\n

You didn’t know me but I knew you so I finally took a chance,<\/span><\/p>\n

My chain of love is real with steel links that has new link each day,<\/span><\/p>\n

I’ve clung to that chain that bound me to you some magical way,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kisses from beautiful lips in sixty eight put a spell upon my chain,<\/span><\/p>\n

Memories seen through my eye and translated by my heart remain,<\/span><\/p>\n

Following orders from the draft board sent me away but I had a way,<\/span><\/p>\n

Not all survived the first round of fire on the riverboat that sad day,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And a sailor cried tears of anguish as he stacked corpses to ship,<\/span><\/p>\n

It was I that cried with guilt for not firing sooner on my first trip,<\/span><\/p>\n

Guilt and fear are two ribbons of red my captain said I’d soon wear,<\/span><\/p>\n

He seldom rode along but he witnessed it all because he was there,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The chain I cling to was covered in red along with anguish and tears,<\/span><\/p>\n

Without that chain I would not have the courage to face my fears,<\/span><\/p>\n

I remember that night so very well as I stared into space I saw you,<\/span><\/p>\n

Bound to you by the magical love links it was you that got me through,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Some days my chain grows two links or more especially during war,<\/span><\/p>\n

Thank God I’ve never endured the day when my chain had four,<\/span><\/p>\n

That night of my first day or baptism by war’s burning fire I sadly cried,<\/span><\/p>\n

Among the bodies that sailor stacked it was found the Captain died,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There are times when hardship shakes us so hard we must step back,<\/span><\/p>\n

I speak of myself in the third person especially when under attack,<\/span><\/p>\n

And I cling to my chain with magic links that takes me home to you,<\/span><\/p>\n

A tender kiss from your sweet lips is often all I need to get through,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Soon I was sent to train elsewhere as they found I had inner strength,<\/span><\/p>\n

It was unknown to me these things they found in me to go the length,<\/span><\/p>\n

My chain grew strong each day as I endured no word from home or you,<\/span><\/p>\n

A nickname came of a question, “No Mail Pat” it made me especially blue,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With excitement and joy I prepared myself for my first leave back home,<\/span><\/p>\n

I felt as if I had returned to a ghost town, I found no one I had known,<\/span><\/p>\n

My chain grew weak I must say and I was so weary upon my return,<\/span><\/p>\n

Returning to base was difficult but my chain I was about to earn,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

America was proud three days after my return we landed on the moon,<\/span><\/p>\n

The things I knew of Russia back then it came not a moment too soon,<\/span><\/p>\n

Our base was secret but it was obvious our ears were on those men,<\/span><\/p>\n

Where I was stationed was one of the better dry docks I could’ve been,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember praying so hard that something would return me to you,<\/span><\/p>\n

At that time I was desperately lonely and unsure of what to do,<\/span><\/p>\n

My chain seemed to be suddenly so heavy it was almost too much,<\/span><\/p>\n

Carelessness on my part brought internment far from your touch,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Was I exhausted after running for days or was I from the start,<\/span><\/p>\n

The chain once strong was heavy and I seemed to have lost heart,<\/span><\/p>\n

Heart is of love or heart is that inner strength I was once told I had,<\/span><\/p>\n

But during this time my heart felt no strength, it felt horribly sad,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The strength of my chain would be tried for three weeks strong,<\/span><\/p>\n

I was challenged to the cliffs of despair as I endured each wrong,<\/span><\/p>\n

I reached hard for my chain as I hung from despair’s last thread,<\/span><\/p>\n

To release my grasp would be certain doom but I was survival bred,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Within my heart I searched in hopes of my strongest link of chain,<\/span><\/p>\n

Was it a dying whisper of love or a shameful weakness I cry her name,<\/span><\/p>\n

Before my eyes she was there and she kissed my battered lip so kind,<\/span><\/p>\n

Hallucinations brought from torture are a gift for those with a lonely mind,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And I was lonely, I had reached the lowest point I hope I’ll ever know,<\/span><\/p>\n

From my rectum I found the foil wrapped photo of my angel in stow,<\/span><\/p>\n

Had I lived another minute of those one thousand four hundred forty,<\/span><\/p>\n

I’d have added links numbering four that day of my worst misery,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Three links of chain somehow linked to the shackles of rust I wore,<\/span><\/p>\n

Rusted shackles with caked blood of brotherhood stained me to the core,<\/span><\/p>\n

As strange as it sounds I take pride in these rust stained ankles of mine,<\/span><\/p>\n

Tattooed anklets as well as etched memories deep within my confine,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once I held my chain dear as I knew my chain began with you far away,<\/span><\/p>\n

My shivering flesh though exposed felt warmth as your glow came my way,<\/span><\/p>\n

I felt your warm breath near my cheek and it opened a floodgate of tears,<\/span><\/p>\n

Then I realized my covers were but dried blood and caked feces smears,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shame crept through my prone self as my self worth escaped me again,<\/span><\/p>\n

To be sodomized is in itself a stain upon my id but last they left the brush in,<\/span><\/p>\n

A wire brush for scrapping rust was the ultimate insult pushed inside,<\/span><\/p>\n

If ever I had dignity, on this night every ounce I ever had must have died,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And I cried in shame and disgust writhing in pain while they looked on,<\/span><\/p>\n

I must escape these tormented memories that I once thought were gone,<\/span><\/p>\n

To be lost is the greatest fear I have as I always want to be found,<\/span><\/p>\n

Because of you I found the strength to walk and not make a sound,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Although my heart pained for you I felt but for my chain you were lost,<\/span><\/p>\n

If this didn’t kill me then love would surely weaken my heart to frost,<\/span><\/p>\n

A cold heart turns trained men to become killers that are often sought,<\/span><\/p>\n

To keep a flicker alive I’d trace your face each day so you weren’t forgot,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Released across the international peace zone one must walk across,<\/span><\/p>\n

If unable you wait until able but I found my chain had become my cross,<\/span><\/p>\n

Was I too dependent upon my link to you or would I have made it through,<\/span><\/p>\n

Yet it felt so good to link to you but where are you, I fear I’ve lost you,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Disgust at my form and filth was heard from the nurses on staff,<\/span><\/p>\n

“I may vomit,” she screamed aloud, “he’s disgusting” was her last gaff,<\/span><\/p>\n

My chain to you found its weakest link that day of my return to us,<\/span><\/p>\n

But somewhere was found the kindest act that made the day a plus,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I screamed aloud for my socks yet they stripped them from my feet,<\/span><\/p>\n

But days later as bandaged eyes were uncovered an image of you complete,<\/span><\/p>\n

A frame of gold around the photo I had worn inside came from kindness,<\/span><\/p>\n

My chain was made of gold that day a nurse found your photo in my sock’s mess,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

America’s soil felt so good to touch but poison filled the air with sound,<\/span><\/p>\n

The chants I heard broke my heart and medics quickly gathered around,<\/span><\/p>\n

More danger came from rocks thrown and bitterness filled my heart,<\/span><\/p>\n

America suddenly hated her warriors although we did our part,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My last trip home had avoided big cities returning to my home town,<\/span><\/p>\n

I thought what I had seen while home was isolated but it’s all around,<\/span><\/p>\n

Now my mind understood why I was jumped while I was home on leave,<\/span><\/p>\n

My chain is stretched and heavy perhaps while I heal I can have a reprieve,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Each day for over a year my link to you has been pulled and tested,<\/span><\/p>\n

When I reported what happened to me not a person was arrested,<\/span><\/p>\n

A police report made the paper but that’s about all that was done,<\/span><\/p>\n

I found three of those men and had my day with all but for one,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For two months more I healed and prayed they would send me home,<\/span><\/p>\n

My honorable discharge came, it was one of the happiest days I’ve known,<\/span><\/p>\n

Protester’s glare was everywhere and their chants were sadly heard,<\/span><\/p>\n

Amputees read their awful signs but going “home” was our only word,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sadness filled my heart to leave the camaraderie warriors know,<\/span><\/p>\n

None of the men in that hospital had done anything wrong for show,<\/span><\/p>\n

Most were teenage draftees from farms and small towns abound,<\/span><\/p>\n

Of the drafted not many big city boys in ratio to farmers were found,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That’s not to slight those men because heroes came from every city,<\/span><\/p>\n

It seemed the death toll ratio was heavy from the Midwest, such a pity,<\/span><\/p>\n

Death can’t be fairly dealt out so avoidance of war is the very best,<\/span><\/p>\n

Most don’t look or consider the age of the man when he’s laid to rest,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My chain has some of its tightest links because of the servicemen I knew,<\/span><\/p>\n

I must mention my father here, he is one of the greatest servicemen too,<\/span><\/p>\n

I’m home but afraid to search for you because I’m beaten down and weak,<\/span><\/p>\n

Told I was in an unhealthy relationship with you and we shouldn’t speak,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The psychiatrist sofa is a place all injured soldiers go no matter why there,<\/span><\/p>\n

They worry about “Dear John’s”, and men that can’t smell tainted air,<\/span><\/p>\n

No matter how I insisted you were different they didn’t believe it true,<\/span><\/p>\n

But I had my chain that if followed would take me directly to you,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My family’s hardship came to light upon my non-eventful return,<\/span><\/p>\n

I hitchhiked home because no one came, it was a lesson to learn,<\/span><\/p>\n

I sat outside your window in tears wondering where I went wrong,<\/span><\/p>\n

Thinking no matter who you were with it was where I belong,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I set out to do my best with over a year of longing for you under my belt,<\/span><\/p>\n

My family needed to be moved and I did so no matter how my heart felt,<\/span><\/p>\n

I felt your presence in the air, just knowing you were near felt good,<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh how I wished to see your beauty for a moment if only I could,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Packed away and ready to go with my family loaded in cars numbering three,<\/span><\/p>\n

Sadness filled my heart as I had returned to witness my family tragedy,<\/span><\/p>\n

The home I knew was no more and the girl I loved was forever gone,<\/span><\/p>\n

With one last look I got everyone ready to go, it was time for us to move on,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I swear I did, I swear it’s true, I had hoped upon hope you’d come by,<\/span><\/p>\n

My hopes came true and a white car topped the hill as sure as angels fly,<\/span><\/p>\n

My heart skipped beats and I nearly fell making sure I appeared well,<\/span><\/p>\n

Then before this weary man’s very eyes was the angel of which I fell,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I saw it in your eyes as they first fell upon me for your first look,<\/span><\/p>\n

No longer was I past teen but I was an aged man that did what it took,<\/span><\/p>\n

For a moment I saw you pause as you realized my innocence had died,<\/span><\/p>\n

No matter what happened to me my heart still loved you deep inside,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Should I fall at your feet and beg you to take me into your arms,<\/span><\/p>\n

Would you hold me for just a minute to be comforted from all that harms,<\/span><\/p>\n

So many thoughts ran through my mind and I found it hard to speak,<\/span><\/p>\n

Our words were simultaneous and the same although mine were weak,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You never got my letters, as quickly as that my heart was aflame once more,<\/span><\/p>\n

When you made me promise to return to you I knew what I had survived for,<\/span><\/p>\n

Very distinctly you said, “return to me, promise you’ll come back to me,”<\/span><\/p>\n

You didn’t ask that I return, but to you, for the first time upon return I was happy,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My chain to you regained its strength and although long it led to you,<\/span><\/p>\n

Six months more were hard for me but I wanted my word to you to be true,<\/span><\/p>\n

My car was ten years old but mine and the money I saved took me home,<\/span><\/p>\n

The first night in your arms seemed to link me from one to this night alone,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The many links between became memories of hardship and love of you,<\/span><\/p>\n

Without those many chain links would my love still grow as much as it grew,<\/span><\/p>\n

Hardship brought clarity of who I loved without doubt or reason to pause,<\/span><\/p>\n

My love for you is one hundred percent pure with no excuse or clause,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Our dates and days for three weeks were enough that I should move,<\/span><\/p>\n

Soon I had moved nearby and with three jobs fell into a loving groove,<\/span><\/p>\n

I carry that with me still for it is the links from which my chain grew,<\/span><\/p>\n

That brought me home no matter what, it was something I had to do,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We are bound by chain to love each other beyond death and even more,<\/span><\/p>\n

My chain is stained with blood and feces, death and life, and hardships of war,<\/span><\/p>\n

Buried within that chain are awful things I pray you never see that are me,<\/span><\/p>\n

Though reluctant with orders I still did what had to be done and didn’t flee,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So many years have just flown by that it saddens my heart so,<\/span><\/p>\n

Without my chain with memories of loving you I’d wonder where’d it go,<\/span><\/p>\n

But I know, time has flown through me and pulled you along as well,<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s flown because happiness has a time anomaly as far as I can tell,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As happiness and joy fills the air my chain skips links until near the end,<\/span><\/p>\n

I’ve seen days with links of four brought from happiness that helped me mend,<\/span><\/p>\n

My chain is now mostly gold because of the Angel of morning light I hold,<\/span><\/p>\n

I love you my beautiful angel, you have turned my daily chain into gold.<\/span><\/p>\n

The end, by Pat for Patti. Thank you Patti for my wonderful life<\/span><\/p>\n

Without you it would be impossible, thank you for being my wife.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I love the magic of setting suns, morning sunrise and you, My heart cries out more often than our Texas morning dew, Surprise isn’t a good word when time is involved somehow, The age in my eyes made me cry when I saw how I look now,   Show me ‘when’ I beg of you, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-936","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized","7":"czr-hentry"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/936","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=936"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/936\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":937,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/936\/revisions\/937"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=936"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=936"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=936"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}