{"id":836,"date":"2016-02-18T02:05:28","date_gmt":"2016-02-18T08:05:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/?p=836"},"modified":"2016-02-18T09:39:32","modified_gmt":"2016-02-18T15:39:32","slug":"malteeser-tragedy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/2016\/02\/18\/malteeser-tragedy\/","title":{"rendered":"Malteeser Tragedy"},"content":{"rendered":"

There’s a man I knew that ate Malteesers in bed,<\/span><\/p>\n

They are a wonderful tasty treat to be fed,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He ate those treats one by one all the night through,<\/span><\/p>\n

A side effect of those treats is a shake or two,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A substitute but not as good is a wax coated Malt ball,<\/span><\/p>\n

The wax protects from the heat but can make it fall,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Malteesers are pure of chocolate and melts right away,<\/span><\/p>\n

That’s what makes them so good in your mouth to play,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But those wax coated subs just aren’t the same but will do,<\/span><\/p>\n

The Malteeser is from Europe so ship me a box or two,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I toss them in but soon the whole box is gone leaving me blue,<\/span><\/p>\n

So now I munch on Malt Balls and I break a tooth or two,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I worry how many little male malts are walking without balls,<\/span><\/p>\n

I’m filled with guilt, tears fill my eyes and a few of the balls falls,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morning brings farts that started at midnight and coat the room,<\/span><\/p>\n

To wake to such a smell can wake a man into gloom,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I drag myself to the restroom to release what I packed away,<\/span><\/p>\n

As I return to make my bed I find a morning treat for the day,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There in the bed is a couple of the balls of malt,<\/span><\/p>\n

I tossed them into my mouth before my hands could halt,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The sniff I caught flying through the air said loudly beware,<\/span><\/p>\n

The moral of this tale, of this story of balls found anywhere,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Check the texture but most off all think of what once laid there,<\/span><\/p>\n

For once you’ve tasted s**t, I assure you, you will care.<\/span><\/p>\n

The end<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There’s a man I knew that ate Malteesers in bed, They are a wonderful tasty treat to be fed,   He ate those treats one by one all the night through, A side effect of those treats is a shake or two,   A substitute but not as good is a wax coated Malt ball, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-836","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-uncategorized","czr-hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/836","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=836"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/836\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":866,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/836\/revisions\/866"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=836"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=836"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=836"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}