{"id":806,"date":"2016-01-04T00:36:47","date_gmt":"2016-01-04T06:36:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/?p=806"},"modified":"2016-01-04T00:36:47","modified_gmt":"2016-01-04T06:36:47","slug":"catalyst","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/2016\/01\/04\/catalyst\/","title":{"rendered":"Catalyst"},"content":{"rendered":"

Is all I have left but an empty dream to be led into darkness,<\/span><\/p>\n

Or perhaps an opaque world with perimeters of what I miss,<\/span><\/p>\n

If I lay here an hour or two will I awaken to the loss of you,<\/span><\/p>\n

All I am is what I see in you and the world within your view,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As time sheds waste of past is there something unlearned,<\/span><\/p>\n

Is something hidden in wrath’s message that I haven’t learned,<\/span><\/p>\n

To learn compassion I was submerged in pain that I may know,<\/span><\/p>\n

We grow each time compassion and empathy is allowed show,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Submerged in pain for thirty years was it a struggle of worth,<\/span><\/p>\n

A world opaque or blind is my future to remain upon this earth,<\/span><\/p>\n

As I come from the submerged I have another lesson to learn,<\/span><\/p>\n

Optimism has been washed away in another life lesson burn,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Is this a crossroad of reflection or simply a choice in movement,<\/span><\/p>\n

Have I have failed so extreme that this is a message Karma sent,<\/span><\/p>\n

My failings if seen by me are so extreme that mountains pale,<\/span><\/p>\n

Is enormity a common thread of thought when men do fail,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Absent a fountain of needed nourishment rich of you I would die,<\/span><\/p>\n

As my brain swelled from virus it found release through my eye,<\/span><\/p>\n

Was this the timer that sat in wait for the moment it was to be used,<\/span><\/p>\n

Had I done better is it something my guardians could have refused,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There is a hand that guides my struggles yet too often I ignore,<\/span><\/p>\n

I tried to endure yet I’m filled with shame for weakness to implore,<\/span><\/p>\n

In my weakest moment I cried “mama” but worst I said “your” name,<\/span><\/p>\n

Similar to mine I’m blessed they didn’t realize my deepest shame,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Our enemy would have used you or worst abused you to their gain,<\/span><\/p>\n

For that I have deserved most anything to fall upon my worn frame,<\/span><\/p>\n

An abyss filled with my darkest failings would remain forever dark,<\/span><\/p>\n

I’ve earned my plight perhaps but without you, life would be stark,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For over six years I’ve had at least twenty five surgeries to endure,<\/span><\/p>\n

As I forced health and strength’s return I felt I had become sure,<\/span><\/p>\n

Words within my rhymes tell of my pleasure to be entranced in you,<\/span><\/p>\n

As I locked into your beautiful eyes all the gifts of life came through,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Don’t cry now, stop for a moment and realize I will hold you instead,<\/span><\/p>\n

Visions of you will still be there, alive and young, flowing in my head,<\/span><\/p>\n

To be held will feel the same and perhaps the outer edges I’ll see,<\/span><\/p>\n

I’m so sorry that it seems each deep gaze brings reality home to me,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It’s impossible now to have that long loving gaze without complexity,<\/span><\/p>\n

With each gaze I judge without fail how much harder it is to see,<\/span><\/p>\n

Let’s just lay here and hold each other, it’s where we both belong,<\/span><\/p>\n

Softly place a kiss upon my eyelids and I’ll feel nothing is wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then end, by Pat. I love you baby<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Is all I have left but an empty dream to be led into darkness, Or perhaps an opaque world with perimeters of what I miss, If I lay here an hour or two will I awaken to the loss of you, All I am is what I see in you and the world within your […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-806","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-uncategorized","czr-hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/806","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=806"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/806\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":807,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/806\/revisions\/807"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=806"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=806"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=806"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}