{"id":783,"date":"2015-12-07T00:50:38","date_gmt":"2015-12-07T06:50:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/?p=783"},"modified":"2015-12-07T00:50:38","modified_gmt":"2015-12-07T06:50:38","slug":"the-dual-timelines-of-my-existence-final-straw","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/2015\/12\/07\/the-dual-timelines-of-my-existence-final-straw\/","title":{"rendered":"The Dual Timelines of My Existence (Final Straw)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Poems for Patti readers,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Today I was diagnosed with Macular Degeneration.\u00a0 I knew something was wrong because my vision became poor very rapidly.\u00a0 I had an exam last year and within that year my vision changed drastically.\u00a0 I will continue to write. I will continue to work.\u00a0 I will face this as best I can with determination and faith, I will do so with Patti’s love in my heart.\u00a0 I would not change anything in my life because each illness and kiss has brought me to this point.\u00a0 For over a year I carried Patti’s image in my mind and heart as I served our country during Vietnam.\u00a0 I absolutely adore Patti and I love to look at her.\u00a0 That will fade with time as there is no cure.\u00a0 Thus, I will carry her image forever dear in my heart.\u00a0 With all my heart I thank our Lord Jesus Christ for blessing my life to be a part of her life.\u00a0 For over a fifty one years I have loved her and each day I am as giddy as a teenager when I see her.\u00a0 Excitement fills my heart each morning as I put my eyes upon her.\u00a0 I feel the same each day as I did when I was seventeen.\u00a0 Soon I will become excited by her essence and her touch, the image of vision may not be there however her image as a vision will be there, for that I am again grateful to our Lord Jesus Christ.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This poem is about my journey.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thank you and may God Bless you,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Dual Timelines of My Existence (Final Straw)<\/span><\/h2>\n

 <\/p>\n

The might of the Texas rain is felt with every raindrop pelt,<\/span><\/p>\n

An appropriate theme fitting me as pain and heartache is felt,<\/span><\/p>\n

Simplicity defines my life that is best shown in a dual life timeline,<\/span><\/p>\n

I have two lines of opposite appeared existence that are mine,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A shattered mess of pain is my health line that struggles to exist,<\/span><\/p>\n

My timeline of love is strengthened by the only one I can’t resist,<\/span><\/p>\n

A timeline so strong that the health line clings to it for support,<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes waning health challenges love in an attempted abort,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A coup of such shall never take place as long as she is in my heart,<\/span><\/p>\n

I’ve skirted the edges of the “Kingdom” as my health fell apart,<\/span><\/p>\n

But for her my existence would be too unbearable for one man,<\/span><\/p>\n

With her near to touch or if she is in my mind I do for her all I can,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My draft survival was because of my love and my heart’s need,<\/span><\/p>\n

Praying to God for her and for me, my faith became my steed,<\/span><\/p>\n

My shattered frame survived their brutality with but a breath left,<\/span><\/p>\n

She held my wounded psyche not caring I was no longer deft,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A brief period existed when both timelines hung in precariousness,<\/span><\/p>\n

No word from home be it from her or family left me a broken mess,<\/span><\/p>\n

Yet somehow a flicker burned with faith to fan the flickering flame,<\/span><\/p>\n

This faith proved true for within a year my angel took my last name,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The timeline of love grew stronger as it healed the year of lonely thread,<\/span><\/p>\n

The embodiment of what I once was was now a memory inside my head,<\/span><\/p>\n

I had no party or welcome home until I saw her and her smile said it all,<\/span><\/p>\n

Pride of personal appearance returned to me as I again tried to stand tall,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My timeline of love for a year plus was more ash of burned fuse,<\/span><\/p>\n

With combat and other missions to endure I was easy to confuse,<\/span><\/p>\n

I refer to my state of heart yet when detained she got me through,<\/span><\/p>\n

Clinging to love while at war and no word is a difficult thing to do,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A timeline of ash yet ash has some strength if undisturbed alone,<\/span><\/p>\n

My health line had been strong until becoming ash before I came home,<\/span><\/p>\n

A month in a rum bottle while surrounded by my father’s understanding,<\/span><\/p>\n

Allowed my psyche to feel I could go on and I returned home standing,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then I saw the smile of an angel that once again made my life worthwhile,<\/span><\/p>\n

The timeline of my existence so microscopic is scope grew from a smile,<\/span><\/p>\n

Within the year we were married and my timeline of love prospered,<\/span><\/p>\n

I knew deep within that my health would forever need to be doctored,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

On a trip to my parents at age twenty five I died on the bathroom floor,<\/span><\/p>\n

The pain had become so intense that I parted in search of heaven’s door,<\/span><\/p>\n

The bright light was there and relatives gone welcomed me to come in,<\/span><\/p>\n

When I saw her sobbing with my limp body in her hold my heart broke again,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They say you don’t feel heartbreak and pain in the Garden of Paradise,<\/span><\/p>\n

I felt the pain of her heart and somehow I felt tears rolling from her eyes,<\/span><\/p>\n

Her precious eyes, so beautiful and laden with care for all she may see,<\/span><\/p>\n

She is precious, a gift given us by God, or perhaps I’m chosen as it may be,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As the years quickly flew by I have been diagnosed with too much to count,<\/span><\/p>\n

Yet the pain may make me pass out I pray to remain to endure, to be pain stout,<\/span><\/p>\n

I am strong, in wartime I endured sodomy after each joint was brutally forced apart,<\/span><\/p>\n

Dislocation is painful but daily kidney stones laced with liver stones stop my heart,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Please understand this is but a small sampling of the diseases I endure,<\/span><\/p>\n

Two back breaks as well as atrophied thighs from infection they didn’t cure,<\/span><\/p>\n

To walk is pain but to walk to her and beside her is a heavenly gift for me,<\/span><\/p>\n

I am the man walking at her side, I am the man beside the Angel they see,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Diabetes insipidus leaves me in thirst while meds for nausea dry my mouth,<\/span><\/p>\n

Kidney disease along with AVMs that bleed into my ureters push clots south,<\/span><\/p>\n

Outward swelling of my abdomen has created pain so intense I pass out,<\/span><\/p>\n

As well the AVMs are in my liver and have atrophied parts near and about,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The stroke we choose to ignore was no doubt an AVM but there is no cure,<\/span><\/p>\n

Life is fragile yet with the desire to survive it is possible but you must be sure,<\/span><\/p>\n

The timeline of my love is like a woven vine entwined in her and wrapped within,<\/span><\/p>\n

The pain I endure is a droplet if payment for the one I adore let the pain begin,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A timeline parallels love and I would guess it is swollen and laden with pain,<\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps it is scarred and rugged in appearance but needs love to remain,<\/span><\/p>\n

I’ve heart disease beyond the broken heart I endured from war and no letter,<\/span><\/p>\n

St. Louis Encephalitis brought brain damage but by her I endured to get better,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I’ve endured the timeline of painful health in acceptance that a price be paid,<\/span><\/p>\n

At seventeen I fell in love with a thirteen year old and knew my path was laid,<\/span><\/p>\n

To be at her side is paradise and I take great delight in watching her smile,<\/span><\/p>\n

I wake each morning to look at the beautiful angel that makes it worthwhile,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Endorphins make pain tolerable there is no doubt and from a look I am high,<\/span><\/p>\n

It is so hard to express that she is my dreams, she is the angel in my eye,<\/span><\/p>\n

As\u00a0 pain became too much her beauty brought comfort indescribable,<\/span><\/p>\n

After each of my fifty surgeries her smile made it all more bearable,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I’ve told so many and perhaps I’ve told too many that to see her is Divine,<\/span><\/p>\n

I take so much pleasure and delight to point her out and say I’m her “mine”<\/span><\/p>\n

To see her is my greatest pleasure, yes, beyond sex I admit to all today,<\/span><\/p>\n

And this afternoon, I was told macular degeneration will take that away.<\/span><\/p>\n

The end, by Pat<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Poems for Patti readers,   Today I was diagnosed with Macular Degeneration.\u00a0 I knew something was wrong because my vision became poor very rapidly.\u00a0 I had an exam last year and within that year my vision changed drastically.\u00a0 I will continue to write. I will continue to work.\u00a0 I will face this as best […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-783","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-uncategorized","czr-hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/783","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=783"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/783\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":784,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/783\/revisions\/784"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=783"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=783"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=783"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}