{"id":658,"date":"2015-08-29T00:15:49","date_gmt":"2015-08-29T05:15:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/?p=658"},"modified":"2015-08-29T00:15:49","modified_gmt":"2015-08-29T05:15:49","slug":"a-tale-of-barking-woe-caused-by-fatty-dog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/2015\/08\/29\/a-tale-of-barking-woe-caused-by-fatty-dog\/","title":{"rendered":"A Tale of Barking Woe Caused by Fatty Dog"},"content":{"rendered":"

I awoke this morning but I didn’t really want to,<\/span><\/p>\n

An ugly little dog repeatedly barked right on cue,<\/span><\/p>\n

As it continued I wondered why it would do that,<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe for a treat explaining why it’s so very fat,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It’s most likely spoiled and Fatty does as it pleases,<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s master or slave comes running if Fatty sneezes,<\/span><\/p>\n

A smaller fat dog stood by, I guess as bark back up,<\/span><\/p>\n

These dogs are yappers, both brains fit in one cup,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now, I’m not one that wakes to insult dogs of breed,<\/span><\/p>\n

But the yapper breed lives by but one barking creed,<\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps if the unmerciful barking goes on all day,<\/span><\/p>\n

I’ll find a noose and see what “slave” has to say,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now my niece is a wonderful beautiful loving me child,<\/span><\/p>\n

But her forever yapping dog is driving me totally wild,<\/span><\/p>\n

And anyone, though rare, that loves me I should keep,<\/span><\/p>\n

But if “it” tests my will not to “kill,” I may start to weep,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I’m very good at kill so I hope Fatty doesn’t test my will,<\/span><\/p>\n

Sadism isn’t my trait but I did imagine one act of thrill,<\/span><\/p>\n

In a bark-nightmare my boot is against Fatty’s fat head,<\/span><\/p>\n

It thrilled me as I pulled out it’s tongue until near dead,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

How did I dream with the bark from hell in rhythmic beat,<\/span><\/p>\n

To be honest I think, perhaps I hallucinated in my defeat,<\/span><\/p>\n

I have done so when weak and standing at death’s door,<\/span><\/p>\n

It comes to a man when his body just can’t take anymore,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I may purchase or borrow a shock collar and stand by,<\/span><\/p>\n

If Fatty continues to bark after shocking, I may start to cry,<\/span><\/p>\n

The fat little dog may be blind or just too stupid to know,<\/span><\/p>\n

I was ignored by Fatty dog as I yelled at it a short while ago,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As sanity departs my mind I have to ask anyone why,<\/span><\/p>\n

Does a fatty dog eternally bark just to make me cry,<\/span><\/p>\n

Patti’s desire to be sweet and loving to all is in play,<\/span><\/p>\n

Because I love her so I’ve taped my mouth for the day,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

An insult or two is riding the tip of my tongue today,<\/span><\/p>\n

Words riding like a surfboard on the tip with lots to say<\/span><\/p>\n

Ready to burst forth in but a bark of the last bark heard,<\/span><\/p>\n

I hope dogs understand “bark” as a dog universal word,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If so Fatty dog just close your eyes and let me say,<\/span><\/p>\n

Bark, bark, and more bark every other second today,<\/span><\/p>\n

Yep, that’s bark, bark, bark, right back at Fatty, bark you,<\/span><\/p>\n

Bark, bark, bark, I promise to bark at you, right on bark cue.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The barking end, by barking Pat with bark to all.<\/span><\/p>\n

King family disclaimer:<\/span><\/p>\n

(The King family does not condone violence or acts<\/span><\/p>\n

of cruelty to sweet little animals, we have had Pat<\/span><\/p>\n

tested for rabies and tranquilized him so he can sleep)<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I awoke this morning but I didn’t really want to, An ugly little dog repeatedly barked right on cue, As it continued I wondered why it would do that, Maybe for a treat explaining why it’s so very fat,   It’s most likely spoiled and Fatty does as it pleases, It’s master or slave comes […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-658","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized","7":"czr-hentry"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/658","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=658"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/658\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":659,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/658\/revisions\/659"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=658"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=658"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=658"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}