{"id":1400,"date":"2018-10-05T00:33:36","date_gmt":"2018-10-05T05:33:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/?p=1400"},"modified":"2018-10-05T00:33:36","modified_gmt":"2018-10-05T05:33:36","slug":"thoughts-lost-to-be-never-found","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/2018\/10\/05\/thoughts-lost-to-be-never-found\/","title":{"rendered":"Thoughts Lost to be Never Found"},"content":{"rendered":"

Thoughts within my head are often dire when memories arrive,<\/span><\/p>\n

To think of Vietnam is difficult in whole but I\u2019m grateful to be alive,<\/span><\/p>\n

Drafted while still a teen with a deferment seems unfair as I see,<\/span><\/p>\n

If only I had known the IQ test would stampede recruiters to me,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My intelligence score was the highest score ever for Panhandle men,<\/span><\/p>\n

Lower scores would allow staying home for manager training to begin,<\/span><\/p>\n

At first I was proud to have done well and the attention I received,<\/span><\/p>\n

As time moved on I learned each recruiter meant to have deceived,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I was deserted by everyone I loved, a sad and troubling fact by far,<\/span><\/p>\n

No memory of a reason to be loved by those I love and I was no star,<\/span><\/p>\n

If only one soul I knew had written me I would have responded in full,<\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps I need to evaluate myself in full to determine if I acted a fool,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Something I must have done turned love away from me to another,<\/span><\/p>\n

Thirteen younger brothers and sisters failed to write as did my mother,<\/span><\/p>\n

The girl I love never answered my letters or even send a greeting card,<\/span><\/p>\n

I queried myself numerous times to find out why I was treated so hard,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I had tried desperately hard to please those I liked or loved in my heart,<\/span><\/p>\n

Tears will again fall to the ground tonight as I fight totally falling apart,<\/span><\/p>\n

Drafted and soon to depart for basic training then off to recon school,<\/span><\/p>\n

The girl I love is going with a guy and it appears I am but a lovesick fool,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

To be honest my heart is broken yet I must forgive her or be totally unfair,<\/span><\/p>\n

Too many friends died in Vietnam leaving a girl after dying over there,<\/span><\/p>\n

I wouldn\u2019t burden her with such although I love her with all my heart,<\/span><\/p>\n

Am I too soft as a man perhaps and should I be firmer from the start?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Blessings did come my way after my second trip home from the service,<\/span><\/p>\n

We kissed, she and I, I forgave all past events although I am nervous,<\/span><\/p>\n

I had orders for Vietnam in hand so I didn\u2019t tell her that I loved her so,<\/span><\/p>\n

Shipped overseas without letters from home or wherever I happen to go,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For over a year I have not received any mail when I\u2019ve gone to the P.O.<\/span><\/p>\n

A nickname of \u201cno mail Pat\u201d hung on me in fun but it truly hurt me so,<\/span><\/p>\n

I wrote letters to brothers, sisters, mother, but most of all twice to her,<\/span><\/p>\n

Her being Patti who I loved so very much but I only told my father,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I wrote the letter of death to all I love as a policy of the Navy Department,<\/span><\/p>\n

The longest letter I wrote to Patti apologizing for words in letters I sent,<\/span><\/p>\n

I must be of a weak character since no one has answered a letter,<\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps Patti returned to her boyfriends arms because he was better,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I accept my failings as a man and I pray I will grow inside if I survive,<\/span><\/p>\n

Soon I\u2019ll be discharged and the shrinks think her love of me is not alive,<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure they are correct but at last I am going home to everyone today,<\/span><\/p>\n

No one met me at the airport so this weak man will have to walk the way,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I cried outside her house upon my arrival home in the early morning AM.<\/span><\/p>\n

My ride home was an angel of mercy who said with hope you may win,<\/span><\/p>\n

He spoke of her and I truly think he felt within me every ounce I pained,<\/span><\/p>\n

I am weak for her no doubt, I would give years away if her love remained.<\/span><\/p>\n

The end<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thoughts within my head are often dire when memories arrive, To think of Vietnam is difficult in whole but I\u2019m grateful to be alive, Drafted while still a teen with a deferment seems unfair as I see, If only I had known the IQ test would stampede recruiters to me,   My intelligence score was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-1400","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized","7":"czr-hentry"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1400","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1400"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1400\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1401,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1400\/revisions\/1401"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1400"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1400"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1400"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}