{"id":1014,"date":"2016-05-03T00:13:08","date_gmt":"2016-05-03T05:13:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/?p=1014"},"modified":"2016-05-03T00:13:08","modified_gmt":"2016-05-03T05:13:08","slug":"a-whisper-1969","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/2016\/05\/03\/a-whisper-1969\/","title":{"rendered":"A Whisper (1969)"},"content":{"rendered":"

From the morning breeze came the rustle of grass coming in union, <\/span><\/p>\n

The reuniting of molecules separated at the base now in reunion, <\/span><\/p>\n

I listen attentively to a soft gust of moist air to hear a hidden word, <\/span><\/p>\n

For separation I close my eyes that I may leave false hope to be heard,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I feel the rise of my cheek bones as a small smile comes to my face, <\/span><\/p>\n

To hear you from far away Texas in a whispered word to this place,<\/span><\/p>\n

May be an exclusion from sanity yet I take my chances to hear you, <\/span><\/p>\n

Isn’t there a moment in time when you’ve said my name to the blue,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Surely but for a second in the least, you’ve remembered a moment,<\/span><\/p>\n

And whispered my name into the Texas wind to reach this torment, <\/span><\/p>\n

I close my eyes to change this situation of decline ever so slightly,<\/span><\/p>\n

Needing but a clue I imagine a letter in my pocket from you to me, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I’ve opened the letter a hundred times or more to read reassurance,<\/span><\/p>\n

As I open the flap the wind whispers my name with each occurrence,<\/span><\/p>\n

To hear your words clearly a slight breeze in darkness must come by, <\/span><\/p>\n

Miracles of love have a clarity of sparkling diamonds in the night sky, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Is desperation laced in the winds in hopes Texas presents you to me, <\/span><\/p>\n

Oh how desperately I need but a whisper as war returns me to reality,<\/span><\/p>\n

And I will continue to pray, how did I come to be so lonely and afraid,<\/span><\/p>\n

I’ve a pain unknown to me that rips my heart from where it was made, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The letter of the imagined necessity is gone to the reality of time, <\/span><\/p>\n

I wonder now to myself was there a time when you were truly mine,<\/span><\/p>\n

Cast a sigh or whisper of love to the air that I may somehow hear, <\/span><\/p>\n

How can it be that I believe my request is heard as if you are near, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The insanity of loneliness created by time apart in desperate times,<\/span><\/p>\n

Has played upon my mind yet I cling to you as presented in rhymes,<\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps if unheard I will see you reflected by the stars or the moon, <\/span><\/p>\n

To see your beauty even a vision would come not a moment too soon, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I am low, I am so lonely I fear scars will block all emotion before long, <\/span><\/p>\n

Today’s morning air is full of a foreign odor telling me I don’t belong, <\/span><\/p>\n

Death is in the air and I must clear my head to see clearly or surely die,<\/span><\/p>\n

I am the eyes or ‘mystic’ as they call my skill to see the enemy up high, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Someday I will come home if the mental link is there pray not prone, <\/span><\/p>\n

Whisper love into the air and send love in the wind to end my alone, <\/span><\/p>\n

I have felt it you know, I have, pockets of air warm with love of you, <\/span><\/p>\n

Have you, please have you thought of me in the past month or two, \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I return to Texas in a month for leave that I may tell you of my love, <\/span><\/p>\n

Will you know the killer I’ve become with skills that nightmares are of,<\/span><\/p>\n

I’ve a IV line for my soul impossible to see but carried in the wind,<\/span><\/p>\n

A new enemy is upon me as I fear I’ve lost fear, it’s needed to defend, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I’ve a new hunger not known until the past month or so that’s within, <\/span><\/p>\n

Emptiness so grand it’s void the limitations of time and space I’m in, <\/span><\/p>\n

In danger’s plight I stood in a pocket of warm air in hopes to feel, <\/span><\/p>\n

As darkness pushes light to the edge I wonder has love lost appeal, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Orders came to return canceling leave until summer, please be home, <\/span><\/p>\n

To return mid May I knew school would end me being so very alone, <\/span><\/p>\n

Deep inside lies an anvil heavily chained of steel to my scarred heart, <\/span><\/p>\n

I pray to touch your fingertips as a touch will cease my falling apart, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All things precious to me have failed me it seems but the Texas wind, <\/span><\/p>\n

Whisper true into the warming air of spring with love for me to send, <\/span><\/p>\n

I’ve heard my name whispered in the breeze far less than I did before, <\/span><\/p>\n

My mind is a wasteland of images I must discard, images I so abhor,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Have you taken your love away from the man that loves you so?<\/span><\/p>\n

The end must come when I’m in a place that isn’t the fray I know,<\/span><\/p>\n

One last time breathe deep into the panhandle air to make it of you, <\/span><\/p>\n

Release a whisper into the Texas breeze filled with a memory or two,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I’m not insane or perhaps insanity masks the reality of my state, <\/span><\/p>\n

Van Gogh was in a dimension of escape that perhaps I can relate, <\/span><\/p>\n

Upon my return I must find you or the anvil shall escape to the sea, <\/span><\/p>\n

No longer am I ‘strapping’ there is a hundred years of death in me, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I lift myself up exploring your photo with my fingertips in flow, <\/span><\/p>\n

Capturing your essence requires touch upon the face I love so, <\/span><\/p>\n

I swear I feel your precious flesh and hear your throat giggle, <\/span><\/p>\n

I’m a nicer man than me of past but I still love your breast’s jiggle, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A million miles away from you in times continuum is a space for you,<\/span><\/p>\n

The energy of love never dies surviving everything it goes through,<\/span><\/p>\n

I will frolic in the vastness of emotions from all those that loved you, <\/span><\/p>\n

In the vastness of space is a vast space of my intense love in blue,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My heart’s in position to be broken it’s true as my outlook is blue, <\/span><\/p>\n

I’m sorry of my disposition it doesn’t fit being in love with only you, <\/span><\/p>\n

Whisper into the wind my name or am I no longer held in such esteem,<\/span><\/p>\n

I’ve cried the tears of endearment to become loneliness of extreme, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Voluminous tears have flowed as I’ve slept in absence of sensation, <\/span><\/p>\n

In a dream came hope of sunshine but soon I felt love minus elation, <\/span><\/p>\n

Love can exist as a whisper kept secretly wrapped away for one, <\/span><\/p>\n

Fear has just enveloped my frame with a sensation I’ve come undone, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tears are in flow to such extreme dehydration is a possible threat, <\/span><\/p>\n

For you sweet angel I rejoice in happiness that our eyes first met, <\/span><\/p>\n

I’ve cried so much the lump in my throat will no doubt forever remain,<\/span><\/p>\n

By falling in love I allowed myself to be broken in pieces filled of pain,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The trip home in July found you gone now I fear you’re forever gone, <\/span><\/p>\n

There is nothing to help me with this impossible journey I am on, <\/span><\/p>\n

It is the ultimate test of my will that will require my best to survive, <\/span><\/p>\n

During a long ago kiss of goodbye I made a promise to return alive, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I’m beaten, I’m blue of heart and broken blue, dislocated and numb, <\/span><\/p>\n

Knowing something but never revealing keeps me alive so I’m dumb, <\/span><\/p>\n

The word is improperly used I know yet it’s how they’ve described me,<\/span><\/p>\n

I’m now a wandering soul in the night sky high above the earth’s sea, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I am detached it seems as my heart feels hollow yet a flame burns, <\/span><\/p>\n

Today I retrieved your photo from my lower organ to satisfy yearns,<\/span><\/p>\n

I’m maimed, naked, without underwear but I’ve overstretched socks, <\/span><\/p>\n

In filth I reside to the lowest degree with nothing clean but cell locks,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It’s sacred to me, your photo, I licked it clean of the feces and blood,<\/span><\/p>\n

A tear fell as I was so upset with myself for allowing dirt or even mud, <\/span><\/p>\n

Halt, I heard a whisper in the night unheard since I left Vietnam’s hell,<\/span><\/p>\n

Blow slight, please, night breeze, that is how I hear her voice so well, \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Without drink I’m void tears as my eyes scrape across dried blood, <\/span><\/p>\n

I’ve been beaten so often each inch of skin contains brand of the stud,<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh dear sweet Patti my heart contains no blood to move if I have love, <\/span><\/p>\n

Whisper into warm Texas air to send love I’m in desperate need of, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Have you given thought of me today for I must whisper in shame, <\/span><\/p>\n

Morning skies brought rain as my tormentors sodomized my frame, <\/span><\/p>\n

Pray forgive me as I said your name and they’ve beaten me for more, <\/span><\/p>\n

Blood has filled the floor and your photo left where you were in store, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I’ve cleaned you my beautiful angel but I fear I can take no more, <\/span><\/p>\n

No moisture came to clean your photo so I used my urine on the floor, <\/span><\/p>\n

I licked you clean as best I could but I’m hallucinating even more, <\/span><\/p>\n

The wind howls your name and is telling me to get off the floor, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If possible I will otherwise the floor isn’t that bad anymore for me, <\/span><\/p>\n

An angel is approaching to lead me to heaven as I’ve prayed heavily, <\/span><\/p>\n

The angel is you, how did you find me and are you taking me home?<\/span><\/p>\n

I’ve always told you the truth, I love you, since we met I’ve known, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

From the filth of this cell beauty is found and seems to ignite air, <\/span><\/p>\n

Please I beg, please say you’re taking me home, please take me there, <\/span><\/p>\n

Whisper tender in my ear and warm your nose in my ear as you’ve done, <\/span><\/p>\n

Just one small whisper of love, please tell me again that I’m the one, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I hear your whisper in my ear as blood loss takes my vision away, <\/span><\/p>\n

Though I see black I feel your tenderness cleanse away the decay, <\/span><\/p>\n

Maggots have kept clean my wounds although pain won’t go away, <\/span><\/p>\n

I bleed each time urine escapes and since being raped yesterday, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I know you aren’t here but please continue to be my hallucination, <\/span><\/p>\n

They said Siberia with my name so I won’t be returning to our nation,<\/span><\/p>\n

Keep whispering your sweetness into my ear and allow its saturation,<\/span><\/p>\n

Envelop me complete with love when I was privileged to know elation,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The only word I’ve really understood is “Dog” so I’m left to conclude, <\/span><\/p>\n

Forgive me but they must fuck their dogs, I don’t mean to be crude, <\/span><\/p>\n

The elder non rapist has taken to give me vodka and a forehead kiss, <\/span><\/p>\n

Each morning he brings a drink or two and it seems slightly amiss, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His only words have been “drink” and “guud-high” without the b, <\/span><\/p>\n

Chances to escape came but I’d have to kill the only one nice to me, <\/span><\/p>\n

I’m a mess, I know, perhaps it’s good the lack of blood took my vision,<\/span><\/p>\n

I hear your soft giggle so perhaps you’re real instead of hallucination, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Whispers are coming from the wind now even while you’re here,<\/span><\/p>\n

Sunrise has surprised my eyes as vision has returned, even clear,<\/span><\/p>\n

My last memories of the night were your presence inside my cell, <\/span><\/p>\n

The blast of cold water woke my senses as they hold me since I fell, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Warm” the rapist yells and threatens with a gun saying “no word,”<\/span><\/p>\n

I know the drill you fat ass rapist, I’m not stupid, your threat is heard, <\/span><\/p>\n

No longer am I strong as dislocation took what strength remained, <\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps I’m of the fortunate as I saw a one legged man he maimed, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I still have a weapon I’m thinking to him, “it will soon be used on you,” <\/span><\/p>\n

When things change there’s reasons, orders of release must be through, <\/span><\/p>\n

You need me alive and well so my turn is to come, give me a moment, <\/span><\/p>\n

“Rapist!” “Dick lover!”\u00a0 Yeah come running at me I want to vent, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Men still hold me to stand and one is the man supplying drinks to me, <\/span><\/p>\n

To them the sodomist is disgusting, I can tell the others aren’t happy, <\/span><\/p>\n

Keep coming at me you ass….I head butted him so hard he was out, <\/span><\/p>\n

If there is ever a moment of redemption this is what it’s about, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The vodka supplying man is a sly one as he starts speaking in English, <\/span><\/p>\n

I’m happy I never said anything bad to him as he is granting my wish, <\/span><\/p>\n

“You’re to be released when you can walk as you must appear well,”<\/span><\/p>\n

“He will be charged with sodomy which is a bad crime and I will tell,”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They dressed me and the clothing felt good, then I thought of you, <\/span><\/p>\n

I’d hidden your photo in the wall for safety, I didn’t think it through, <\/span><\/p>\n

“I like my old cell if okay” then jerked free to make way to that cell, <\/span><\/p>\n

Without their support I had no muscle strength and I suddenly fell, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Most laughed aloud as I crawled to find your picture in the wall, <\/span><\/p>\n

Entering the cell I find the floor clean but I’m now covered overall,<\/span><\/p>\n

I dragged myself through filth to get here and when silence came, <\/span><\/p>\n

I whispered words of love to you and tenderly whispered your name,<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A whisper of love is all I need but someday I will shout it out loud, <\/span><\/p>\n

I pray you are there to hear but if I return in pine please know I’m proud, <\/span><\/p>\n

My father no doubt will whisper my name and say the box is for you, <\/span><\/p>\n

A whisper can carry so much if allowed for the message to come through, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I’ve a poem inside explaining my love with a long lost letter too, <\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps your mother is why I never heard anything from you, <\/span><\/p>\n

I never stopped loving you for a moment no matter how grim or bad, <\/span><\/p>\n

A whisper in the wind could be me calling your name if that’s not too sad, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If you love another that’s okay but know I would have stolen you away, <\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps I’m still whispering your name in the moonlight at the end of day, <\/span><\/p>\n

If so I will return to you as promised and soon I’ll whisper love to you, <\/span><\/p>\n

I feel, In truth I feel, you’re still waiting for my service to be through, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Whisper soft into the Texas air my name and exhale your essence to me, <\/span><\/p>\n

As the wind carries particle of you I feel your ability to find me will be, <\/span><\/p>\n

These fifteen long months have passed and I’m free to come home to you, <\/span><\/p>\n

Psychiatric doctors have created doubt in my battered mind I hope not true, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I will whisper nightly into the breeze from but five miles away, <\/span><\/p>\n

Never will I stop whispering love to you if you don’t come my way, <\/span><\/p>\n

I believe so much in you and that we were born of each other in love, <\/span><\/p>\n

We were destined to love the other whispering love to whom we dream of, <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A whisper is all that is needed so please whisper words into the air, <\/span><\/p>\n

You know I will be coming home because I promised to be there, <\/span><\/p>\n

I am frail of body but my heart beats strong of love for you its true, <\/span><\/p>\n

I whisper now of my love, I pray my whisper of love came through.<\/span><\/p>\n

Whisper, I love you, a soft whisper will do. The end.<\/span><\/p>\n

By Pat for Patti.\u00a0 Written from my heart for you in 1969<\/span><\/p>\n

Recovered and modified in 2016<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From the morning breeze came the rustle of grass coming in union, The reuniting of molecules separated at the base now in reunion, I listen attentively to a soft gust of moist air to hear a hidden word, For separation I close my eyes that I may leave false hope to be heard,   I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-1014","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized","7":"czr-hentry"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1014","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1014"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1014\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1015,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1014\/revisions\/1015"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1014"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1014"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poemsforpatti.com\/love\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1014"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}